Emotional Intelligence
Daniel Coleman

Summary

One of the most impactful books I’ve ever read that totally flipped my understanding of success. Coleman uses hard data to demonstrate that IQ, a commonly held word we use to describe how smart someone is, has no correlation to how successful a person will be. Rather, that’s determined by their emotional intelligence

Rating: 4/5

Notes

2 skills that matter significantly: team building and adapting to change

Higher IQ children = lower IQ children in terms of success

IQ does not equate to workplace success

Expertise is common sense plus the skill/experience gained in a job

5 elements: self-awareness, motivation, self-regulation, empathy and adeptness in relationships

Pattern recognition distinguished top performers in business, the big picture thinking

• Influence, team leadership, political awareness, self confidence and achievement drive

Being a successful executive involves leading people more than IQ

Don’t diminish the value of intangibles: people around you, trustworthiness

Emotional awareness: recognizing your feelings and why, known it’s affecting your performance and awareness about the values and goals

Follow your inner sense and always take time for yourself

Self assessment:

• Aware of strengths and weaknesses
• Reflective, learning from experience
• Open to candid feedback, new perspectives, continuous learning and self development
• Able to show a sense of humor and perspective on themselves

One of the biggest problems with people is self-awareness

Never lose your self-confidence and conviction

Ability to understand self-confidence directly correlates w/ success

Self-control:

• Manage impulsive feelings and distressing emotions
• Think clearly and stay focused with pressure
• Stay composed, positive and unflappable in tough moments

Remember to stay calm even in the most stressful situations

Never stop changing/adapting

Collaboration leads to innovation and you have to be able to execute on ideas

Initiation & implementation allow workers the creativity to think and come up with ideas

Key is to find a flow state where the challenge is part of the fun

Being emotionally present at work and not getting ahead of yourself

Most successful companies share a single minded passion for innovation and the business

Passion for feedback and need to constantly evolve

Support employees in what they want to do (organizational commitment)

You need to make sure the collective mission of the firm is clear to employees

Always give credit to the people around you because they’re the reasons for success

Initiative without empathy can be destructive

You need to understand the customer’s perspetive when selling the business

Understand your customer and accept feedback and a willingness to evolve

Need to develop personal relationships with everyone at your company

You need to be able to read everyone in an organization

You always subconsciously influence the emotions of those around you

Good emotions spread more powerfully than bad ones

When negotiating, it’s important to understand when to use facts and when to use emotions

Use the networks of local leaders to be able to spread your message

Involve everyone and their opinion in the decision making process

Cooling down after conflicts:

• First, calm down, tune into your feelings and express them
• Show a willingness to work things out by talking over the issue
• State your point of view in a neutral language
• Try to find a resolution both sides can embrace

Think about how to implement change and get employees on your side

In leadership, nice guys finish first

Organize events outside of work to really get to know people

Constantly ask yourself is you’re staying up to date w/ innovation and let young people be leaders

When evaluating venture investments, pay particular attention to the team and how they work

Team chemistry is more significant to success than any individual’s IQ

Cultivate informal relationships, seek our mutually beneficial relationships, build rapport and make/maintain personal friendships among work associates

You need to maintain and cultivate relationships (not just a one time thing)

Make teams fast, focused, friendly, self-confident and fun

Team leaders lead best when they present their opinion after everyone else

5 simple secretes of success: rapport, empathy, persuasion, cooperation and consensus building

Everything in an organization is political so make sure to involve the decision makers

When giving feedback, always discuss the strengths first before the limitations

***

Buy the book here

Free E-book download here