Keep Expectations of people low

Keep expectations of people low:

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Keep expectations of people low.

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Don’t expect too much from others.

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If they do something good, great.

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If they don’t, it’s ok.

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What you expect to happen and how things happen completely different things.

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We often time think our families or partners know exactly what we feel or need.

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They don’t.

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So if they make a mistake or don’t do something you expected, don’t get too mad.

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Talk to them.

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Let them know what your expectation was and move on.

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I keep thinking about all these family problems I’ve seen.

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So many arguments and fights happened over expectations.

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Arguments because one person expected this and another person expected something else.

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They weren’t aligned.

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Instead of screaming at the person, let them know they fell short.

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But know that most people don’t change.

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They are going to be the way they are.

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If you can’t put up with that, sorry.

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You can’t change someone else, as much as you want to.

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Instead communicate as best as possible.

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Tell them what you were expecting.

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But don’t let it eat at you.

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Stop letting it make you angry.

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So many arguments and fights happen over miscommunications where both people had different expectations about the same situation.

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See this a lot in work now.

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Certain people on our team feel that they don’t need to tell others what they’re doing and just drop stuff on them.

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Other people believe we all should know what’s going on in the firm no matter how good or bad.

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I tend to agree with the latter, but again, people have different expectations.

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They operate differently.

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They have different ways of doing things.

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The key is to make sure both sides come to the table and understand each other.

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If you don’t communicate and address the problem, bigger issues happen.

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If problems are not addressed at the beginning, they can linger.

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And people like to hold grudges, whether or not they should.

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A lot of people are bitter and think they’re right.

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The issue is they’re not self-aware.

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They’re not aware of the blind spots.

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They need to be more empathetic to how other people think.

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Even if you do all of this, you will still have expectations of people that are not met.

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I had to learn this the hard way.

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Growing up, we were usually the family that liked to host parties.

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Usually once a summer when we were back in town from university we got all our family friends together at our house.

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That changed as we got older as many of them got cottages.

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But no one has hosted a party at their house.

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My expectation from watching my parents growing up was if someone invites you to a party at their house, you invite them back another time.

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I had this expectation that someone else would start doing it, and yet for many years, nothing.

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In this situation, I was wrong.

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My expectation was they were raised the same as me and knew that ‘basic courtesy’ in my mind was that others should host a party.

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But that’s wrong.

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They don’t have that expectation.

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So I had to let go. 

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Host the party if you want, don’t if you don’t. 

But don’t do it thinking that you’re going to get invited to other parties. People don’t think like that.

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So lower your expectations of people and you won’t not be disappointed.

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